Coping with Your Kid’s Anger

coping with your kid’s anger

This is often a case of “why did this have to happen to me?” Children may feel that it is unfair that they have a problem with wetting the bed when others seem to have no problems sleeping a dry night. Some children may also be angry that other tease them about it. Anger often takes many forms, for withdrawal, to outbursts to violent flare-ups of anger with other children.

When your child thinks, “I’m angry.”

Getting your child to cool down is a top priority. Always have your child calm down quietly by himself or herself after a display of temper or defiance. Then, give your child a chance to tell their side of the story.

Sympathize with their anger

Of course, as a parent, you know that there are no answers as to why some things happen to some children and not to others. Explain that it is unfair that not everyone develops at the same time. Explain to your child some of the reasons behind bedwetting. Then, talk about what should be done when they feel anger. Discuss why anger happens and what can be done about it. If your child feels anger at home, you can try to encourage him or her to sit quietly, breathe deeply, and wait for the feeling to go away.

If your child is angry about being teased, try getting your child to act out what it said to him or her and have your child act out what he or she might say the next time something happens that is similar. You should not give your child excuses for expressing anger or violence, but you need to help your child deal with the feelings in a non-destructive way.

Although bedwetting is a common phenomenon in children, this always causes psychological problems especially for the bed wetter. If your child wets the bed, the most obvious psychological problem you can immediately see is embarrassment. He will be ashamed of himself because bed wetting is only for babies or toddlers. Additionally if his schoolmates tease him for wetting the bed in his age, the embarrassment can become worse. Then, your child also feels guilty for giving you extra laundry to do and making you clean the bedroom early in the morning. Another possible feeling is dirty that the smelly odor of the wet makes him uncomfortable in front of his friends. In fact, bed wetting does not only give inferior feelings like that; sometimes it makes your child angry, both to himself or his friends.

Anger as the side effect of bedwetting, in my opinion, is better in the way that your child does not hide his pain himself for being teased or embarrassed. At least, when he shows his anger, you know he has a problem, that your child feels uncomfortable and he needs your help to cool him down. Compare to the condition when your child just keep silent but deep inside, he is very much ashamed and guilty. You do not exactly understand his feeling as he does not tell you anything. However, definitely it does not mean you can let the anger just go with the flow because at his age, your child probably cannot manage his emotion well and it might turn to be destructive. Educate your child to control his anger and express it in a good way:

If he is angry at school

You may do not know that your child is angry at school for being teased about his bed wetting, but you can rely on his teacher’s report. Once you know your kid explodes with anger, welcome him warmly when he gets home. Friendly ask about his day at school and let him share his story and feelings; do not interrupt, just listen. Now when you get the point, teach him what to say if his friends make fun of him so he can express his anger in a less destructive way. Remember, do not blame him for his attitude, he just needs to be understood.

If he is angry at home

It is easier for you to take care of your child’s anger at home. When he is angry at his siblings for teasing him and show the destructive habit of hitting or throwing things, take a quick action of separating the children. Take the angry child to a separate room and ask him to take a deep breath; this is how you give him example if he is angry, go somewhere and calm down. If he keeps being angry after the separation, tell him ‘Mommy is hurting if you are like this’ and leave him awhile to give a space for your child to think that his anger also hurts people he loves.

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