Many children are shamed by bedwetting – usually by the remarks made by a parent or another child. In general, a child is made to feel ashamed because those around him or her seem to make bedwetting a big deal or a sign of failure. Bedwetting is one of common problems in children under 7 years old. Although your child has had potty training since he was a toddler, it cannot fully guarantee that in the future he will never wet the bed as bed wetting happens uncontrollably. The problem arises when your kid knows that the one who does bedwetting is usually a little child so the accident brings him shame.
He feels ashamed for doing something that bothers his parent, something that he is not supposed to do as an older kid, and so on. I guess that is the reason why many experts suggest you to control your emotion when dealing with a bed wetter; without hearing you yell at him, your beloved child has suffered from the shame. At this point, what a good parent should do? Yes, you are right. You have to help him coping with his terrible feeling.
When your child thinks, “I’m ashamed.”
You can prevent your child from being ashamed by sticking to a “no big deal” attitude yourself. Make sure that your home is a no-tease zone and do not let other adults belittle your child. If a well-meaning relative starts to say something to your child about wetting the bed, praise your child publicly for doing well.
Saying something as simple as “Oh, John is doing much better with that now. We’re all very proud of him” right to an adult who is making your child feel ashamed will make your child feel better. Positive reinforcement of any kind, in fact, will help your child. One of the best antidotes to shame is showing your child that you love and are proud of them.
You never know how long he will have the feeling and the worse thing is, if it lasts long, his self-esteem is in danger. With low self-esteem and confidence, your kid may lose his interest to socialize because he feels inferior in front of his friends who, in his opinion, no longer do a childish thing like bed wetting. He is probably afraid of the mock from other people around that he still cannot do the business in the toilet. Don’t let the feeling torture your child, good mother. You have so many ways to help him, for example:
Be proud of him
The first concern of your kid is your respond to the accident; if you scold him for wetting the bed, he will be down and ashamed. In contrast, if you stay calm and take it easy, his guilt can be minimized. And that will be much better if you show that you are still proud of him in front of people, so he can maintain his confidence. The parent’s support and love are everything for the kid.
Although it happens many times and almost every day, there must be one night dry. When your child succeeds control his bladder during the night-time, give him compliment such as ‘you did a great job’, ‘oh, this is my kid’ and things like that. Especially when you know some friends or relatives make a joke of the accident at night, praise your lovely child in front of them. This way, he will no longer feel ashamed.
Blaming and criticizing is the last thing your kid wants to hear from you. For you probably it is just the way to make him do better next time, yet the uncontrollable emotion of the parent gives extra shame on the kid. Instead of performing better, he will feel pressured and the condition triggers more terrible bedwetting. It is not just my opinion, I ensure you. Experts say one of the reasons for kids to wet the bed is because they are nervous, afraid, or pressured which means there is no benefit you and your child get from this action, right?