Sadly, many people try to look for explanations in illnesses or conditions, trying to find out the “cause” behind something or trying to find out what something supposedly “means” rather than focusing on care or treatment. Your child may also be under the impression that the lack of bladder control “means something.” Your child may assume that there is something wrong with his or her mind, as other kids have “learned” to stay dry.
When your child thinks, “This means I’m stupid.”
When your child hears that the body does not wake the mind up to go to the bathroom – a common way Enuresis is explained to children – the child may assume that there is something wrong with their mind that is causing the bed wetting.
Praising your child’s intellectual ability (putting good grades on the fridge or rewarding well done assignments) can help convince your child that he or she is intelligent. You can also take care to explain that children who wet the bed do not have anything wrong with their minds at all – they are just waiting for some body parts to grow up. This can hep reassure them that they are bright, that they just need to wait a bit longer to control their bladder.
What to Do When He Feels Stupid for Bedwetting
If you have a child who is under 7 at home, I am sure you will be familiar with bed wetting. Yep, bedwetting is a condition when your child cannot control his bladder thus he wet the bed at night. Some people take it lightly and believe it is just a matter of time for him to do that—I wish you gave this kind of thought, however there are also some other who make it a big deal and even relate it to particular myths. If previously I have shared with you the myth of laziness which causes the accident, now I am going to talk about the next illogical myth of bedwetting: stupidity. What is wrong with that?
I myself do not know where the belief comes from, yet some say that bed wetting is caused by low intelligence level of your kid. The problem is that, when you have the myth in your mind and unfortunately your kid see it too, he will have a wrong self-image of himself. It is understandable that when your child wets the bed, he feels embarrassed, guilty, lazy, and even stupid because at his age, he starts comparing himself with others. When he knows most of his friends no longer do it, he will assume there is something wrong in his mind as he still cannot learn how to stop doing that. In other words, he thinks he is stupid. As a parent, do not make it even worse by believing in the myth too. Help him, Mom! Comfort him in any ways and try to normalize his thought by:
Telling him a myth is a myth
A child tends to have lots of worries and he will find reasons to prove his feelings are right, no matter the reasons are logical or not. That is why he easily believes in myths. Bed wetting makes him feel bad but he needs a reason for the feeling, thus he assumes probably he is stupid. If you know it is not right, explain to him that a myth is a myth; it is not necessarily true. What if he does not want to believe your explanation? Give the real example that the smartest student in his class also wets the bed sometimes. Why? Because the friend’s bladder system at that time needs to develop more and so does his.
Praising him more
Especially when you kid is brilliant at school or you know he has a particular talent to be proud of, highlight the side. Praise him for his achievements and if necessary, do it in front of people like other family members or his friends. Then, in the right time, you can talk to him personally showing that ‘hey kid, see, you are really good at it no matter you wet the bed or not. It means you are awesome, you are not stupid at all. Let’s have a dry night tonight because you know you are great’. Besides erasing the wrong thought, in this way you help him get back his confidence.